Attachment styles are patterns the nervous system develops in early relationships to maintain connection and emotional safety. These patterns continue into adulthood and influence how we experience dating, conflict, intimacy, communication, and trust.

They are not personality types — they are adaptive survival responses.

Many couples feel they are walking on egg-shells. This is not because the relationship is “toxic” or unhealthy, necessarily. It means that your nervous system’s are operating from an anxious and avoidant loop. One person takes on the role of anxious-fixer-pursuer and the other takes on the role of avoidant-dismissive-withdrawer. This leads to repeating arguments, resentment, a lack of trust, a decline of intimacy, emotional shutdown, and an overall withering of relationship satisfaction and security.

With attachment style rewiring, we retrain your relationship system to find security through listening, witnessing, and embracing each other without shame, blame, or projection.

Anxious Attachment

People with anxious attachment often:

• fear abandonment

• overthink texts and conversations

• feel distress when communication changes

• seek reassurance but still feel insecure

• feel responsible for maintaining the relationship

These responses are regulated by the nervous system through fight, flight, freeze, and fawn reactions. When the body perceives emotional threat, the brain automatically activates protective behaviors — even when a relationship is safe.

The goal of this group is not to analyze relationships intellectually, but to help the body experience safe connection directly so secure attachment can develop naturally.

Reminder: You are not labeled by an attachment style. Attachment styles shift based on how the nervous system is perceiving the moment in front of us and the person in front of us through the lens of our past experiences and the innate desires/needs of our inner child and present selves.

Avoidant Attachment

People with avoidant attachment often:

• value independence but struggle with emotional closeness

• withdraw during conflict

• feel overwhelmed by others’ emotional needs

• have difficulty expressing vulnerability

• shut down or become distant when intimacy increases

These responses are regulated by the nervous system through fight, flight, freeze, and fawn reactions. When the body perceives emotional threat, the brain automatically activates protective behaviors — even when a relationship is safe.

The goal of this group is not to analyze relationships intellectually, but to help the body experience safe connection directly so secure attachment can develop naturally.

Reminder: You are not labeled by an attachment style. Attachment styles shift based on how the nervous system is perceiving the moment in front of us and the person in front of us through the lens of our past experiences and the innate desires/needs of our inner child and present selves.

Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant) Attachment

This pattern includes both approaches and withdrawal:

• wanting closeness but fearing it

• strong emotional reactions

• push-pull relationship dynamics

• fear of rejection and fear of being controlled

• confusion about needs in connection

These responses are regulated by the nervous system through fight, flight, freeze, and fawn reactions. When the body perceives emotional threat, the brain automatically activates protective behaviors — even when a relationship is safe.

The goal of this group is not to analyze relationships intellectually, but to help the body experience safe connection directly so secure attachment can develop naturally.

Reminder: You are not labeled by an attachment style. Attachment styles shift based on how the nervous system is perceiving the moment in front of us and the person in front of us through the lens of our past experiences and the innate desires/needs of our inner child and present selves.

We attract similar environments and familiar patterns. Why? Because our nervous system learned to wire this way in order to maintain a level of love. This “level” of love varies widely from person to person, family to family. However, we will continue to attract these attachment patterns of anxious or avoidant tendencies in order to mirror to us the unprocessed and suppressed emotions that are stored within our nervous system. Not til we look internally (and more importantly, somatically) at these patterns will we give space for a new pattern to appear in our present life as adults.

The Relationship Audit is a discernment counseling alternative at its core. Whether you feel you’re at the stage of breaking up or not, this process is about inner discernment. “Is this relationship serving us and our growth?”

Many couples stay wavering in a state of relationship uncertainty for years… Should we stay together? Are we right for each other? Am I “wasting” time? Are we hurting each other more by remaining in this connection?

Time goes on. Patterns repeat. Wounds continue to be re-ingrained. Pain continues. Fights become a record on repeat. And you feel like you have gotten no where.

Couples stay together because they are holding onto the “what if’s.” Meanwhile, they may be staying in a relationship that is no longing loving for both partners (or your children if you have them). Thus, within the relationship audit, a core goal is to provide you a space where clarity drops in. Within my full relationship write up, I will give you honest suggestions about the longevity of your relationship. If you stay together, I will name what are necessary steps to take to transform the foundation of your connection. If you want to get honest about potential separation or divorce, I will offer a clear step-by-step process so that you can uncouple consciously, versus perpetuating patterns of resentment, conflict, and distrust.

You are not alone. You don’t have to remain stuck in your cycles. I would be honored to hold space for you and facilitate as a meditator, showing you that your relationship can feel different, no matter what decision you make about your next path forward.

• You keep having the same argument and never resolve it

• One partner pursues while the other shuts down or withdraws

• Conversations escalate quickly into defensiveness or criticism

• You feel more like roommates than romantic partners

• Physical intimacy has faded or become tense

• You are considering separation but don’t want to make the wrong decision

• You’ve tried talking, reading books, or even therapy and nothing is changing

• You feel stuck in the same conflicts

• You are high-functioning who may feel your problems “aren’t that bad” but still feel disconnected

• You are premarital but want clarity that this is the “right” relationship before moving forward

• You are in a partnership where one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other is unsure