Energy Mastery & Secure Attachment: How to Stop Leaking Energy and Reclaim Your Power
For those who want to master their energy—listen.
For those who want healthy, grounded relationships—listen.
For those ready to feel powerful, clear, magnetic—listen.
There is a version of you who doesn’t leak your power, betray your boundaries, or outsource your sense of safety. A version of you who moves through life with grounded presence, a regulated nervous system, and a heart that is open while deeply rooted in self-awareness.
A version of you who knows:
My energy is sacred. My body is my anchor. My presence is my power.
This is where energy mastery meets secure attachment.
Not in theory—but in your breath, your attention, your edges, your choices, your body.
You Are An Energetic Being — And a Biological One
Everything is energy. Not in a cliché way — in a physiological way.
Your heart emits an electromagnetic field measurable several feet from your body.
Your nervous system is constantly broadcasting your internal state.
Your breath, tone, facial expression, posture, and presence communicate long before language does.
This is not “woo.” This is interpersonal neurobiology, emotion regulation, and psychophysiology.
When you are attuned to yourself, you broadcast coherence (check out HeartMath: heart-brain coherence). When you abandon yourself, you broadcast chaos — and you attract it, too.
The Human Magnet: Attention is Energetic Currency
We create our own energy field with our heart, with our thoughts, with our intentions, with our actions. The saying “where your attention goes, energy flows,” is real. Where our attention is placed, our nervous system responds and follows.
If your awareness is anchored inside — you feel rooted, clear, sovereign. If your awareness leaks outward — scanning for approval, threat, validation, or control — you feel anxious, depleted, reactive. Self-attention is not selfish. It is energetic hygiene. It is how you stay centered instead of porous. Present instead of needy. Available without abandoning yourself.
Therefore, if you allow your attention to turn inward first, you’re going to feel more grounded and clear about how you show up with your own energy. On the contrary, if you show up in the world with a lack of awareness of your energy field, it is quite likely that you are projecting, deflecting and leaking your unprocessed energy onto all the spaces you walk into. As a result, I could guess that you feel depleted. I could guess that you feel more anxious. I could guess that you find yourself in cyclical relationship patterns that exhaust you.
To boil this down into a short and sweet inspirational article, I really am trying to say that:
The mastery of your own energy makes you a magnet to what you desire.
The Frequency of Choice
During our day-to-day lives as humans we are constantly making decisions about what to do next, what to eat, what to wear, where to meet, who to connect with, when to wake up, how to position ourselves, what to say, how to move, what to plan, when to respond — the what, who, where, when’s and how’s of life.
When you zoom out, you recognize the thousands of choices you make in just one single day. Beyond that, you become inspired to realize the gravity of some of these choices. And even beyond that, you see the magic in the energetic waves that have to come together and communicate to even bring these choices and furthermore, the outcomes that result from these choices, into fruition — into reality.
How magical is choice, right?
While choices are magical, they also hold their own frequencies. We make frequent choices and each holds a frequency. So, we must ask ourselves, what choices are we engaging in? High frequency choices or low frequency choices. Each impacting our energetic baseline and energetic state on the day-to-day basis.
The emotions we engage with will also impact our energetic state. When we allow emotions to pass through, they can cleanse us. Yet, when we attach to then, they have the potential to drag us down.
From MindValley.
Containment: The Essence of Secure Attachment
Secure attachment is not just relational — it’s energetic.
Secure attachment is energetic containment — not isolation.
It is the ability to stay with yourself while with others. To hold your center. To feel emotions without being flooded by them. To open your heart without collapsing your boundaries.
The idea is — the truth is — we are and always have been whole. It is an illusion to think and believe that we could even have a void within. Yet, when the world feeds us messages that we need things outside of self (new clothes, more love, more attention, success, money, validation, gratification, dopamine, etc), it makes us addicted to more. We become addicted to the chase to fill these illusive voids within us. We find ourselves in a rat race to feel the basic inner child needs of love, safety, belonging, and purpose. Yet, reminder: you are whole.
Therefore, the containment of your own energy allows you to retain that which is yours: your own life force. Your life force is the home to secure attachment.
Secure attachment says: “I am safe inside my own body.”
Without this, we leak:
Through people-pleasing
Through chasing validation
Through emotional fusion
Through dysregulated urgency
Through fixing & caretaking as identity
Leaks aren’t failures — they are biological responses from unmet needs and old attachment wounds. We all do it. It is human. And no matter what, these responses are repairable.
Energetic Containment Feels Like:
When it comes down to it… regulation is magnetic. You are magnetic when you are aware and rooted in yourself.
Breath anchored in your low belly (your root chakra of safety)
Shoulders soft, spine tall
Sensing your heartbeat
Slow, present speech
Boundaries as clarity, not walls or apology
Choosing presence over performance
You don’t protect your energy by shutting down —
you protect it by inhabiting yourself. You are home in yourself.
When you contain, you magnetize. When you leak, you chase.
Leaky Energy: The Subtle Ways We Drain Our Power
Before we learn to contain our energy, we must learn to recognize when we are losing it.
Leaky energy happens when we move through the world unanchored and unrooted in ourselves — reacting instead of responding, chasing instead of choosing, performing instead of inhabiting, seeking externally instead of sensing internally.
It often begins quietly:
A micro-tension in the chest
A tightening of the jaw to appear agreeable
A rush to respond so we don’t disappoint
A collapse in the belly when someone disapproves
A subtle leaning forward into others instead of inhabiting ourselves
Without awareness, there is no intention. And without intention, energy slips through the cracks of old wounds and unmet needs of the inner child and past parts of self that went unaddressed. When we leak energy, we are not broken but we are being called to return to ourselves.
Subscribe to the $7/mo Relational Healing Membership with Rachel Jackson, MA MFT and receive a free leaky energy daily check-in worksheet to root into your own secure attachment when you find yourself anxious or dysregulated!
What Causes the Leak?
We leak energy when:
We make decisions from fear, urgency, or insecurity
We react from childhood attachment patterns instead of grounded presence
We abandon our body to stay connected to others
We say yes when our nervous system quietly whispers no
We chase validation, harmony, or belonging externally
We lose our center trying to manage someone else’s emotional weather
In these moments, our life force is not gone — it is simply moving outward faster than we can replenish it. This? We don’t want. We don’t want to leak out our greatest superpower without intention or awareness for where it’s going.
It’s like giving a stranger your credit card and saying go buy me things… and having no clue what they will bring home. What will they prioritize your energetic currency by purchasing?
How Leaky Energy Feels in the Body
Leaky energy has a physical signature. It often feels like:
Scattered attention, difficulty staying present
Shallow breath, upper-chest breathing
Shoulders floating upward or collapsing inward
A feeling of being “pulled forward” energetically
Nervous system buzzing, restlessness, or agitation
Tight stomach, sensation of “falling out of yourself”
Hyper-awareness of others, under-awareness of self
Emotional porousness — easily influenced or overwhelmed
Drained, depleted, or “hollow” without knowing why
Energetic leakage feels like being everywhere but inside yourself.
It is the nervous system saying, “I don’t feel safe to fully land here.”
The Bubble Metaphor — and Why It Matters
I like to imagine our energy fields as a living bubble around us — strong, rooted, beautiful, not rigid or walled but permeable with intention, not by accident.
Each night, we return to ourselves in rest. Each morning, our bubble wakes with us — refreshed (ideally).
But throughout the day, life pokes:
Traffic.
Social media.
News.
Other people’s moods.
Expectations.
Comparison.
Repressed emotion.
Absorbing instead of observing.
When we are not attuned to the edges of this bubble, we don’t notice the subtle holes until we feel depleted.
So ask yourself: Am I going to be “pokeable?”
As the day progresses, we often take on energies that are not ours into our bubble — or we find them caked onto the edges of our container. It is integral to shake those energies of anything that is not “us”—that is not “pure,” off of us. It is then, that we return back to ourselves and can maintain security in ourselves.
Secure attachment is a containment of energy versus taking on or grasping for energies outside of self to fill an internal void.
The practice is not to avoid life — but to stay rooted enough to stay intact.
Consider becoming a Paid Subscriber to The Secure Effect to dive deeper into November’s theme of BOUNDARIES: How and when to set them so that you’re open but not too open, receptive, rooted, grounded, and clear.
Leaky or Grounded?
Ask yourself throughout the day:
Am I in my body, or ahead of myself?
Am I breathing deep or shallow?
Did I leave myself to stay connected?
Am I responding or reacting?
Is my attention here or chasing acceptance?
This is energetic maturity.
This is nervous system sovereignty.
✨ Subscribe to the $7/mo Relational Healing Membership with Rachel Jackson, MA MFT and receive a free leaky energy daily check-in worksheet to root into your own secure attachment when you find yourself anxious or dysregulated!
The Attachment Connection
Leaky energy is often attachment energy — a nervous system still learning to feel safe on the inside due to external experiences or the internal meaning we made of those experiences.
Secure attachment isn’t just relational — it is energetic containment. It starts with you.
Not walls. Not detachment. Not emotional restriction, censoring, or isolation.
Containment is self-presence while in connection.
Secure attachment holds energy within — not by grasping, but by belonging to yourself first.
When you learn to stay with you, you stop leaking for love. And you become magnetic for more people, opportunities and experiences that are in resonance with your energy.
Entrainment: We Regulate Together
Science & spirituality agree: When one nervous system is regulated, others entrain toward it.
When one heart is coherent, coherence spreads. This is why secure people feel magnetic. Why regulated leaders change rooms. Why grounded presence heals.
Your regulated nervous system is a gift to the collective.
Coherence within → coherence between → coherence around you.
This is secure attachment in action.
In Closure
Your energy is your life force. Your nervous system is your vessel. Your presence is your power.
When you learn to stay with yourself, life — and love — stay with you, too.
Welcome to energetic adulthood. Welcome to secure magnetic wholeness. This is not something you obtain. It is already within you.
You don’t attract what you want — you attract what your nervous system can hold.
And you are learning to hold it all.
If you haven’t heard it in awhile: I am proud of you.
With love,
Rachel
